I like to apply the “cone of possibility” to how one shapes one’s identity and belonging. There are many versions of the cone, and a multitude of applications. I’d insert an illustrative diagram here if that could be done in the comments, but you can look up hundreds of them on the internet. Here’s a link to one: https://www.delve.com/insights/speculative-design-and-a-cone-of-possibilities.
The thing about identity is that its construction is constrained by time, money, place (both geographical and social), what has come before, language, and many other things. Those are what give the circles in the diagram at the above link (possible, preferred, probable, plausible) their particular location and diameter.
The diagram is just a springboard for thought. We can change it to better fit our own circumstances. For example, we can imagine the lines being blurred, as when we don’t know where the preferred fits with respect to the probable. We can imagine the circles slowly changing as we move toward them in time, but also entertain the possibility that there will be sudden expansions or contractions of some of the circles, as happened when your sister died.
We can add other circles too - for example, the much-not-to-be-preferred. This might overlap with other circles in disconcerting ways, as when a person makes an attempt to belong to one social group only to find that this results in being utterly cast out of another.
I could add a thousand wrinkles to all this, as I am sure you can too.
Beautiful. A new coming to life, albeit too slowly for comfort.
This post of yours is interesting and important.
I like to apply the “cone of possibility” to how one shapes one’s identity and belonging. There are many versions of the cone, and a multitude of applications. I’d insert an illustrative diagram here if that could be done in the comments, but you can look up hundreds of them on the internet. Here’s a link to one: https://www.delve.com/insights/speculative-design-and-a-cone-of-possibilities.
The thing about identity is that its construction is constrained by time, money, place (both geographical and social), what has come before, language, and many other things. Those are what give the circles in the diagram at the above link (possible, preferred, probable, plausible) their particular location and diameter.
The diagram is just a springboard for thought. We can change it to better fit our own circumstances. For example, we can imagine the lines being blurred, as when we don’t know where the preferred fits with respect to the probable. We can imagine the circles slowly changing as we move toward them in time, but also entertain the possibility that there will be sudden expansions or contractions of some of the circles, as happened when your sister died.
We can add other circles too - for example, the much-not-to-be-preferred. This might overlap with other circles in disconcerting ways, as when a person makes an attempt to belong to one social group only to find that this results in being utterly cast out of another.
I could add a thousand wrinkles to all this, as I am sure you can too.